i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
