So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I just gargled with NyQuil
Randomize
