Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
