Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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