What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
