"it" just moved
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
