You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize