worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Your penis caused this!
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
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