I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
high people should be assigned attendants
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
