i can't believe i had my finger in that
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
