once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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