ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize
