We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Randomize
