At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
