So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
My dick has a subreddit
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
