The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
