talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
