Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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