I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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