So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Randomize
