Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize