Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
