i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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