if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Randomize
