told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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