ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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