it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
