I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
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