is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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