My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
