Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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