Got a toothbrush?
I got chris browned last night
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
