We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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