Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Randomize
