Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
