when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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