How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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