she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
