I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
pray to the hookup gods
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
