Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
