Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
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