This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
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