You're completely useless in the revolution.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
