I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
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