Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize