he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize
