Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
