I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
