come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize
