Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
