So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
