i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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