It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Randomize
