You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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