That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Houston, we have a blender
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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