do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
