My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Randomize