The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
