there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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