you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
