I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Randomize
