he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize