A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
